508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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