This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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