I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize