U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
