So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
