I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
