Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
babies were throwing up all over the place
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
