Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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