im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
