i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
