I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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