just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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