he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
