false alarm. still invincible.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
