We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
