make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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