Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
