im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
