that's an acceptable place to lick
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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