I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
