Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
