Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Actions speak louder than pants.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
