I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
