If i come over, it means nothing
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think a kid would responsible me up
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
