Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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