Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
apparently the secret to your success is patron
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
