wakey wakey hands off snakey
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
