Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
