Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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