theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
