there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
