If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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