hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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