In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Randomize
