kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
