It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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