I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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