So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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