my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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