I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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