hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Randomize
