She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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