What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
