we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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