so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
