i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
