In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize