Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
