Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
