Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
